now and endless

I love where I am right now. Life is perfectly balanced on the precipice of change. Important paths are converging and diverging, and I am poised to circumnavigate half the globe. The butterfly effect is taking wing all over the place and it's stunningly beautiful to watch. It is the hand of God moving over the world in infinitesimally subtle and cosmic ways. A glance here, a word there, the way the sun glinted in the eyes of someone you may never talk to – these are the things that are constantly changing our lives and molding our futures. We live in such a delicate balance, but it all turns out right in the end. Somehow it always does. Isn't that magnificent? Never have I found such a firm underlying state of peace. It's not permanent, I'm sure, but it's just the kind that could be, if everything stayed balanced just right. But nothing is more transitory and elusive than perfect balance. It's like at the turn of fall, when the trees start to think about changing, and the maples send faint little red veins through the green of their leaves in preparation for the flood of color to follow; or like in the initiation of spring, when the most delicate fragile green things gently push at the heavy layers of greyness and decay from last year's end, and the skeletal trees swath themselves in thin green clouds so faint you can only see them peripherally. We're talking phases that linger only a few short days. So achingly beautiful that it's what I look forward to all the rest of the year.

There is a strange steady exhilaration in everything right now, and I have the strangest feeling that this summer is somehow going to be really important, even pivotal, in the long run. I've been feeling that for months now. And I don't think it's just that I'm going to Italy for a little while. Just all the changes flying so thick and fast – new paradigms, new people, new discoveries, new situations and new revelations. Like some of the old boxes I've lived in for so long are falling apart and away and there are new horizons everywhere.

Anyhow. I'm running out of words. Sorry, apparently I get kind of obsessive about life sometimes, and then make you all listen to/read it. But life is cool, you gotta admit that. Endless opportunities. We live in the day and age where the line between dreams, ideas, and reality is fading away. No joke. Sometimes it's kind of scary, really. In an incredibly awesome way.